Monthly Archives: November 2006

Seth’s Prophetic Golden Dream

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There is this email that has been circulating. It lists 25 funniest analogies/metaphors collected from (supposedly) actual high school essays. (Many commenters of this blog believed they were actually purposely crafted by established writers, and not simple misuse of English language by high school students.)

Well, I have one bad paragraph of my own:

Seth had a prophetic dream the other night. In it, the air was filled with a golden hue, and a monkey was eating a banana. And when he woke up, there it was in the morning sun, a banana being eaten by his younger brother who was scratching himself like a monkey.

Bye Bye (a.k.a Hide and Seek)

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“Bye Bye,” my 19-month-old daughter M waved her hand. (Translation: Go hide so I can find you.)

“Bye Bye,” My husband and I enthusiastically waved back as we continued to sit around the kitchen table chatting.

“Bye Bye! Bye Bye!” Her voice now had an elevated urgency.

I looked at her smiling.

“Bye Bye,” she said again, flicking her hand with the look in her eyes that said, “Yes. You.”

“Okay, okay, I’m going.” I got up, while trying to finish my sentence. Just then…

“BYE! BYE!” An exasperated screech. (Translation: Get a hint, willya? Get lost!)

Material Girl

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I think we’re inherently materialistic. It’s simple. You can’t see or hear or touch what people are thinking. But when you see food, you know it’s meant to be eaten.

My daughter is 19-month-old (okay, almost 20-month-old), and she’s obsessed about shoes. (Dom’t look at me. I wear a pair of simple black shoes when I go out, and change into slippers when I come home. No pumps.) When we’re home, she would literally pull one of our slippers off our foot and proceed to wear one on her own foot. She would not let us take the other one off, either. Letting the victim keep one of the slippers seems to agree with her justice system.

The other day, we thought, maybe the obsession with Mom’s and Dad’s slippers had to do with the fact she didn’t have slippers to wear at home, only socks. So we bought her a pair of clogs this past weekend for her to wear at home. Well, first she had to wear them even while we were in the store. And now when we’re home she insists that I wear one of her clogs (only three toes can fit in), while she wears the other (the size disparity hasn’t quite register with her cognitive system yet). And, boy, would she throw a fit whenever we need to go out and need to put “going-out shoes” on her.

This reminded me of my own obsession with watches though. I was in the third grade, and some of my friends had started wearing watches. I thought it was so pretty and so grown up. On the way to my grandparents’ there was a watch shop, and I always asked my parents for permission to run ahead whenever we visited the grandparents – so I could stand in front of the shop window and dreamed of which watch I would wear when I grew up. I even taught my younger sister matter-of-factly: “Watches are better than bracelets, because they’re not only pretty, but they can also tell time.” (At least they don’t poke your eyes out like a Red Ryder B B Gun would.)

I think kids first develop physical sense of ownership. Abstract concepts such as relationships would have to come later.

The Night Before Thanksgiving

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This is what having a child does to you. When the child is little, you’re tied down to the kid’s nap and bedtime schedules. And you don’t take as many long trips. Then when the child is older, you can’t even take a trip to Europe for Thanksgiving without hearing some sighs and complaints because your daughter is used to having you visit and cook a scrumptious holiday meal for her. And, that is why on this Thanksgiving eve the only non-microwave dinner in our house is for our 19-month-old, and I’m sitting in front of the computer complaining about my parents deciding to take a trip to Italy at this time of the year.

Tomorrow we’re going to see our former-metal-band-musicians-turned-normal-parents-and-productive-working-adults friends and their kids. Should be fun. We can pick out a pumpkin pie from a grocery store on the way – just in case there weren’t enough pumpkin pies at the party. Besides, the pumpkin filling makes the pumpkin pie a far better *veggie* choice than a Boston cream pie.

Babel

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Wandering into the living room…

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Were you reading the New York Times online?”

“No. I was surfing other sites.”

“Oh.”

“Oh, I have to show you this really cool art blog I found on New York Times.”

“I thought you said you weren’t looking at New York Times.”

“Well, not right before you asked me the question.”

“In that case, I did not eat five burritos and watch back-to-back CSI.”

“You ate all the burritos!”

“No. Not right before you came in.”

V for Vendetta and Vox Populi

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We watched V for Vendetta the other day. And now I’m interested in reading the original graphic novel, as I know there are quite some differences, and Alan Moore, the original author, did not endorse the Hollywood version. I may read “The Watchmen” first though, since my husband told me “The Watchmen” is a better story (and we already have a copy at home).

The perpetually smiling Guy Fawkes mask was creepy. But then, V is a dark, creepy character. Would we really herald such a character as our hero if we were living in that kind of world? For example, I would never condone the destruction of the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center (if it were still standing in the fictitious future) no matter how oppressive the government had become. Would you?

The real voice of the people is in the news, on the big screens, on TV, on our blogs, in our newspapers, books, magazines. The more we allow partisan news articles, politicians who set up their brother-in-laws for $50,000-a-year jobs operating toll booths…oh, yes, America, $14.6 billions later your tax money is still paying for Boston’s Big Dig project – you know, the project that had to do with the tunnel where a ceiling panel that weighed 3 tons killed a woman in July this year? Your tax money will also foot the bill for the investigation, as well as the law suit the Mass Turnpike Authority chairman filed to try to save his face and job. (Well, all right, maybe this latter part will only hit the unfortunate Massachusetts residents, who like paying more taxes anyway.) Futhermore, after failing to save his job, the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority chairman Matthew J. Amorello resigned effective August 15th, but will be paid his $223k salary as well as all insurance and benefits through February 15th. He will also start collecting his $56000-a-year pension when he turns 55. No wonder so many people want government jobs.

Sorry for my rambling digression. (Massachusetts politics always makes me think of Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead.) My point is, we are responsible for putting these people in office.

Food for thought…below is an excerpt from Wikipedia’s biographical entry on Donald Trump. I’m not touting for the Donald, but I think the description is very revealing of our government officials nowadays:

The development saga of the Javits Convention Center gave Donald Trump a revealing lesson in the ineptitudes and inefficiencies of the New York City government in that a project he’d estimated could’ve been completed by his company for $110 million ended up costing the city between $750 million to $1 billion. He’d offered to take over the project at cost but found that the New York City bureacracy had virtually no interest in the prudent expenditure of taxpayer’s money.[citation needed]

This debacle would repeat itself in the city’s attempt to restore the Wollman Rink in Central Park – a project started in 1980 with an expected 2 1/2 year construction schedule that was still, with $12 million spent, nowhere near complete in 1986. Trump offered to take over the job at no charge to the city, an offer that was initially rebuffed until the New York City media got wind of the story which changed their minds in a “New York minute“. Trump was given the job which he completed in six months and with $750,000 of the $3 million budgeted for the project left over (he used the leftover money to renovate the adjacent skatehouse and restaurant).

It should be noted that the city had started the Wollman Rink restoration project at the same time (May 1980) that Trump had broken ground for his landmark Trump Tower project, which he completed in 1983.

Female Chauvinist Pigs

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This just boggles my mind. I guess it’s not trendy to desire true love and respect anymore. Instead of struggling with the insecurity of not being pretty enough, smart enough, we do away such base emotion by trashing ourselves and amusing ourselves by seeing women the ways male chauvinist pigs see us. It’s funny, really.

Sorry, Aretha, “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” is no longer THE WORD for women. We’ve come a long way, baby!

References:

Me Tarzan You Jan, an article from New York Magazine

Female Chauvinist Pigs: Girls Gone Wild, a book review article from New York Times