Left Out of the Dollhouses


Researchers at Yale Child Study Center reported that preschoolers (ages 3 and 4) have a more than 3 times higher expulsion rate than their K-12 elders. (Note: Direct transfer to other schools or programs didn’t count as an expulsion in the study.) I had no idea preschools institute expulsions. Somewhere between training the kids to use a potty to teaching them the words to Lamb Chop’s Sing-Alongs, the teachers had gone bald from tearing her hair out and had to tell the parents, “I’m sorry Mr. and Mrs. Smith, your child is out of control, and we can’t have him in this school anymore for other children’s sake.”

“Is there any other school who would have the resources to deal with free spirits like our Bobalah?”

“Ha, good luck! Er…maybe at a school where the teachers have access to a child psychologist down the hall whom the teachers can send the child to instead of having to come up with creative and effective disciplinary techniques without spanking the kid.”

Not that I have any reason to worry about my daughter M, whose defiance and tantrums are all well within socially acceptable limits. But coming from a family of teachers and with both my parents being elementary school teachers at one point, I’m quite familiar with the antics a child can raise, and of which the parents invariably begged my parents, the teachers, “Please, teacher, do some parenting for us.”

“What do you do when your child break rules at home?”

“We send him to his room.”

“And what does he do in his room?

“He plays his Professional Wrestling Tournament video game.”

“Have you tried taking his video game away?”

“Oh, but he wouldn’t like it. He kicks and screams until we put it back where it was.”

“So, how can I help you?”

“Discipline. Hard core, tough love discipline. We beg you, teacher. We’re relying on you to help him to grow up into a law-abiding citizen.”

See here for the actual text of the paper published by the researchers.


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