Monthly Archives: May 2007

Where Can I Find a Roadrunner?

Standard

One morning my husband came downstairs saying, “Honey, I saw two wolves in our backyard from our bedroom window.” Wolves? We don’t live near the zoo.

“You sure they’re wolves? I’ve never heard of wolves in this area. Coyotes, maybe?”

“They looked like wolves. On the other side of the fence. Umm, what do coyotes look like?”

So, we checked out the pictures on Google.

“That’s it. They looked like that animal pictured here.”

Since then I’ve been perusing the Internet for more information on dealing with Coyotes. Apparently they’re deemed to be an important part of the Eco system and we are not allowed to do anything to them on our properties, because if you remove a predator out of the food chain, then the population of the animals further down the food chain would explode, without the natural check and balance. So where are the coyote’s natural predators? And I don’t want lions in our backyard.

“Hmm…here it says coyotes only attack people when they get too used to humans.”

“Coyotes are used to humans in this state.”

“Oh.”

The articles also say that you should not turn you back to run when you see the coyotes, but have to move slowly and scare them away. That’s not good news…I’ve been afraid of large and/or hyper/energetic/agressive dogs growing up (I’ll spare you the recounting of the memories). I should call the garden service…the weeds in my garden are waist-high. I know I know weeds don’t grow waist-high if I had only lapsed for two weeks…last year we had the wasps.

Advertisements

No. It Does Not Have Anything to Do with Magneto…

Standard

[Taking a sip of tea…sitting up pretty and straight] So,  supposedly the earth’s magnetic field is going to reverse itself.  And before it does that, the magnetic field would disappear all together for a little while.

Oh, said you, where did you get such authoritative news?

From the Economist and New York Times, of course.  Astronomy Today gives a little too much information you see.

So, anyway I gathered from the said authoritative science articles that this will likely not occur in our lifetime, unless you were a fossil, in which case you wouldn’t have to worry about it unless you were a fossil bearing ferrous elements.  Then again, we don’t know how much said will actually come to pass as described.  Real scientists don’t commit to their hypotheses.  They don’t kneel down with one knee holding a diamond ring.  No, they just flirt and fancily wave their hands in front of the blackboard with equations, saying “if this happens, then it’s probably… and the best guess is…”, and make you wait by the phone and never call.

Check out the New York Times article here.

Check out the Economist.com article here.

Must Be My Magnetic Personality

Standard

Of the 21 years I’ve been the proud owner of a driver’s license, I’ve had 5 car accidents to date. Three out of the 5 occurred within last 35 days.

The first one happened when the lovely Massachusetts had the last snow storm of the season. Yes, it had to be the last one. And also the car hit an utility pole right in front of my house. I was this close to making it home. The day before my daughter’s 2nd birthday.

Then the next one, my car became demon possessed and kept getting sucked into this BIG tractor/trailer truck. You know people say your life flash before your eyes…? Those people obviously don’t know what they are talking about! How does your brain have the spare energy and leisure to retrieve and watch any flash movies when your brain and every nerve is busy going: NO! NO! NO! DON’T GO THAT WAY! GO RIGHT ! GO RIGHT! NO! NO! GO LEFT! STRAIGHT! STRAIGHT! DON’T HIT THE TRUCK! I DON’T WANT TO HIT THE TRUCK!???!!! So, anyway I hit the truck.

Afterwards, I just sat there motionlessly.

I.

Hit.

A.

Truck.

Then I checked to see that I was still breathing. No blood dripping anywhere. I could still count to ten on my fingers. I wiggled my toes. The interior of my car was the same as before. I looked out the window and couldn’t see any damage from where I was sitting.

I.

AM.

ALIVE.

And I promise you I have been very very conservative and paying attention when I’m driving since then.

And then this morning when I was inching along in a stop-and-go traffic, another car rear-ended the rental car I was driving. My own car hasn’t even come back from the shop yet.

I’m seriously thinking about a telecommuting job.

In the meantime, if you ever see on the road an Asian woman sitting bolt upright in the driver’s seat, with her white-knuckled hands gripping the steering wheel, please – stay away from that car! Stay as far as you can from that lane. In fact, it would be advisable if you just go ahead and take a detour and go through another state instead. Because you never know if a meteorite shower is going to hit that vicinity any time soon.